Friday, August 30, 2013

Corn Tassles

Loving Chicagoland
Cherishing The End of Summer 
Hating O'Hare

I had a quick turnaround business trip to Chicago this week. And, as Roadboy's readers know I love Chicago and its handsome suburbs.

This is a nice time to leave my Sonora desert home as it reminds me that the rest of the world is starting to slide gracefully into the final days of summer. In Phoenix we tend to forget that since our triple digit summers last till late October.  

In the upper midwest this is that magical time when the first hints of fall are in the air and the sweet corn (my mom loved so much) is piled in bins at roadside stands.

Then it was time to return home via O'Hare.

Now, I should stress I allow an extra hour for travel at this airport because it is so hopelessly inept.

At Terminal 2 airlines still can't take checked bags. They tag them and then hand them back to you. And you must then walk them to the various screener posts that occupy much of the renovated ticket lobby. OK it has been more than a decade since new screening rules went into effect. They've had more than enough time to fix that. 

Then I made my way to the TSA Tweezer / Bottled Water Interdiction Zone.

Once again TSA's "Pre" line was closed along with the first class lane / premium lanes. Of course there was no signage regarding the closures, just a portly TSA guy barking out "It Is Closed!" to anyone who made it within 10 feet of the lanes.

But from those very long TSA lines, we had a great view of the flight crews whizzing by us each wtih 3 bags and a liter of water. And, of course, no glass box jumping jacks for them! Airlines have amazing service models. They sell more product than they actually have and give their staff better treatment than their best customers.

But, I digress.

Anyway, I still had some time on my hands and walked around a bit.

And as I strolled it occurred to me how horrible O'Hare's T-2 and T-3 have become.

Exhibit A:
Departure lounges are always filthy and so small that passengers frequently just sit on the floor.

Exhibit B:
Almost no power outlets for passengers. 

Exhibit C:
Hello! Even LAX now offers free internet! But O"Hare still requires passengers to purchase Boingo.

Exhibit D:
O'Hare has almost no good food choices (even my fall-back Quizno's is now gone). There is a tiny and always overcrowded Chili's, a oh-so-greasy Johnny Rockets and a McDonalds peddling $6 Big Macs (just the sandwich).

Seriously, the best food opton continues to be the popcorn stand.....

I give them a point for installing new chilled water bottle fillers.

Now, if we could just figure out that most vexing of O'Hare mystery's.....

Who got paid off to make them use those stooooopid electrically operated toilet seat condoms?

Those creep me out.

Roadboy's Travels © 2013

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